16th September 2007

All things considered, we had another relatively quiet week. School has slipped into a predictable routine: 90% paperwork, 5% soothing petty grievances, and the remaining 5% spent doing something marginally worthwhile. If I ever find the time (or the will), I might start keeping a log of all the pointless meetings and activities I endure, the sort that waste time, money, oxygen, and occasionally my will to live. One day, I’ll turn them into a book and retire on the profits. Some OFSTED inspectors already have.

The Headteachers’ Union (NAHT) helpfully sent me a circular about the damaging impact of bureaucracy. It took me 20 minutes to read, during which time I could have been doing something less ironic, like tackling bureaucracy. Their main message? “Stop wasting time on unnecessary paperwork!” Apparently, 66% of heads retire early because of it. Too late, I’d already wasted my time reading it.

On to more meaningful endeavours… I did a spot of rugby coaching on Thursday, my first session of the season, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I even felt vaguely useful, which is a rare thrill. On Saturday, I graduated to carrying the First Aid kit at a Cup Match. We won 56–5, and while I didn’t have to bandage anyone, I like to think my mere presence scared the injuries off.

Friday night brought friends, a BBQ, and the crushing despair of English rugby. After a cheerful evening with sausages and stories, we sank into a mild depression watching the England rugby team get comprehensively dismantled by South Africa. Charlotte arrived around 9 pm with Lucas in tow; they’d sensibly evacuated the house while Suraj relaid the wooden floor. Apparently, the fumes were potent enough to stun a badger, so Lucas bunked with us for the weekend.

Sarah swam late into Saturday night at an important gala with Harborough Swimming Club. Returning home around 11 pm where the club managed to retain its place in Division One. A solid result, though I remain unsure whether all that chlorine is good for her brain cells.

Sunday morning brought an assault on the car boot sale. Sue, Charlotte, Sarah and Lucas returned two hours later carrying more plastic games than in Toys “R” Us. If Lucas were an octopus with ADHD, he still couldn’t play with them all in one lifetime.

Jamie got his first proper pay packet on Friday, a cheque! Cue the traditional wait for it to clear. Still, he celebrated with a rare Saturday night at home, followed by jet skiing with a friend on Sunday. As one does.

The rest of us went to a Farm Park. Post-lunch, we took Lucas to where the animals were largely cuddly, except for a pair of distinctly grumpy goats who seemed to be channelling the spirit of mid-week teachers’ meetings. We amusingly encountered three trolls under a bridge (don’t ask), Sue and Lucas bravely boarded a barrel ride, and Charlotte and Lucas got lost in a plastic tunnel while Sarah nearly completed an animal jigsaw. I personally lost two highly competitive bets on piglet racing. I should have gone with my gut feeling and backed the one with spots and an attitude. You win some, you lose some.

All in all, a rather nice, if slightly surreal, day out.